First week of Summer was wonderful. Started with a "vacation" with Marci and the boys which was just amazing.Though I was getting paid for it, it definitely wasn't work, and I feel a little guilty that I am getting paid.Speaking of paid, this strange but wonderful occurance happened-- She paid attention to me, and asked for my input and cared about me. I really felt comfortable around them. We went to the beach and camped and just chilled mostly. It is so beautiful in the La Jolla/ San Diego area. I loved just driving around and seeing the beautiful houses in Coronado and La Jolla and chillin on the beach watching the boys. On Monday I became the boogie boarding master thanks to my sensai Jake Fisk, and Teusday we spent in La Jolla, at this amazing cave and on the most beautiful beach I've ever seen. My favorite moments were just moments with the boys
The best quotes were...
" Im Comin Nemo!"- Lucas
" Even Jesus probably spills sometimes"- Tyson
" Here, try some! It's good!" -Lucas
" Want a kid? You don't have to buy him or anything!" -Marci
That was some awesome "Beachy time"
Then yesterday as we're driving home Kim texts me and asks if I could babysit for the next 3 days, which I'm okay with... It just kind of bothered me the way she went about asking, and talking at me. Here starts the less than peachy time. As they were leaving she starts pointing out some of my flaws unintentionaly saying to the kids " I'm sure Rylea will be very PATIENT and KIND with you guys" as if I'm not usually... it was very pointed, and not very kind. Then I get a little bit upset, I mean I'm okay with babysitting. I do it for them all the time. But something Marci pointed out-- that they asked me the day before-- and the way she was talking at me was rubbing the wrong way. All of a sudden, I really didn't want to do anything for her. She was being kind of mean, and catty, and I felt really bad about myself because of the things she was saying... and it only got worse. She noticed that I wasn't very excited, and she pulled me aside and asked what was wrong. So here's my mistake I told her. I said, I dont really think it was considerate that you just asked me yesterday. She proceeds to scoff at this, and rebutt it saying that there was no way that this was inconsiderate, and totally putting me down. Then she says that if I dont want to do it I don't have to and that she will call off the whole thing if I can't treat her children correctly which was low. I mean... yes I was upset but now she's 1. Making me feel like a terrible person for even mentioning that I dont appreciate something she's doing then 2. Alienating me by asking me if I can treat HER kids fairly... and 3. making me feel bad that I'm living with her by saying " You live in our house, of course I'd expect you to babysit even if it means sometimes missing a party, which was not what I was getting at. Totally stomping me. Sometimes I have feelings, and arent people who love you supposed to respect that. It really upset me. I'm not very happy with her. But no worries guys. I've been the perfect babysitter because I'm not backstabbing, or bad, or even ungrateful, but the way she said the things she did, definitely does not make me want to be fun, or super helpful, or kind... though I'm not going to take out my anger on the kids. Which Kim apparantly doesnt think I'm capable of doing. Its so frustrating. I definitely dont feel like part of the family. I want college. I dont want to deal with feelings and family and confusing relationships I can't escape anymore. I'm done. I love summer, just wish I had my own house. 3 more months
The best quotes were...
" Im Comin Nemo!"- Lucas
" Even Jesus probably spills sometimes"- Tyson
" Here, try some! It's good!" -Lucas
" Want a kid? You don't have to buy him or anything!" -Marci
That was some awesome "Beachy time"
Then yesterday as we're driving home Kim texts me and asks if I could babysit for the next 3 days, which I'm okay with... It just kind of bothered me the way she went about asking, and talking at me. Here starts the less than peachy time. As they were leaving she starts pointing out some of my flaws unintentionaly saying to the kids " I'm sure Rylea will be very PATIENT and KIND with you guys" as if I'm not usually... it was very pointed, and not very kind. Then I get a little bit upset, I mean I'm okay with babysitting. I do it for them all the time. But something Marci pointed out-- that they asked me the day before-- and the way she was talking at me was rubbing the wrong way. All of a sudden, I really didn't want to do anything for her. She was being kind of mean, and catty, and I felt really bad about myself because of the things she was saying... and it only got worse. She noticed that I wasn't very excited, and she pulled me aside and asked what was wrong. So here's my mistake I told her. I said, I dont really think it was considerate that you just asked me yesterday. She proceeds to scoff at this, and rebutt it saying that there was no way that this was inconsiderate, and totally putting me down. Then she says that if I dont want to do it I don't have to and that she will call off the whole thing if I can't treat her children correctly which was low. I mean... yes I was upset but now she's 1. Making me feel like a terrible person for even mentioning that I dont appreciate something she's doing then 2. Alienating me by asking me if I can treat HER kids fairly... and 3. making me feel bad that I'm living with her by saying " You live in our house, of course I'd expect you to babysit even if it means sometimes missing a party, which was not what I was getting at. Totally stomping me. Sometimes I have feelings, and arent people who love you supposed to respect that. It really upset me. I'm not very happy with her. But no worries guys. I've been the perfect babysitter because I'm not backstabbing, or bad, or even ungrateful, but the way she said the things she did, definitely does not make me want to be fun, or super helpful, or kind... though I'm not going to take out my anger on the kids. Which Kim apparantly doesnt think I'm capable of doing. Its so frustrating. I definitely dont feel like part of the family. I want college. I dont want to deal with feelings and family and confusing relationships I can't escape anymore. I'm done. I love summer, just wish I had my own house. 3 more months
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